


Gorgeous

by cledritch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Great Gatsby Fusion, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Blue-eyed Jaehyun, Everyone Has Issues, Everything Hurts, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jungwoo and Sicheng are cousins, M/M, Minor Dong Si Cheng| WinWin/Oh Sehun, Minor Violence, Morally Ambiguous Characters, Rich People Making Bad Decisions, everyone is shady, jaewin, let me laugh about that tag pls, minor woocas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cledritch/pseuds/cledritch
Summary: Blue eyes looking into his and he might just sink and drown and die.





	Gorgeous

**Author's Note:**

> People voted for this on twt to be finished first so here it is. It's by far the out there I've written mostly because there are themes I don't agree with but it was fun to write. This was out of my comfort zone and I hope you like it. I know there are mistakes so if you see them, feel free to tell me! Tell me what you think and enjoy.

Amidst the pouring rain, he can hear the loud bass from across the street like a heartbeat thrumming inside his ears.

The cup of tea in his hand has gone cold, rim pressed against his lips as he stared outside the window. The taste of Darjeeling is still fresh on his tongue, remnants of the tangerine he mixed in sour now. It was sunny when he went out of his house with his mind filled with the things he could do with his cousin on such a fine day. It’s been a while since he’s had time for himself with his family breathing down his neck to make the wedding preparations as swift as possible. He’s learned to differentiate all shades of white, picked which flowers were hypoallergenic to make sure his fiancé wouldn’t have an allergic reaction and tasted too much cake he felt sick.

This was a peaceful night compared to the numerous phone calls he received from the establishments he had to invite for his husband. The ring on his finger sparkled in the dim light, the weight of it overruling the ideas that he could still put an end to this.

Sicheng can’t afford the luxury of changing his mind.

He took another big gulp of his stale tea, bitter and uncomfortable down his throat before he went to the kitchen to place his cup in the sink. Jungwoo, his cousin, is staring outside with a grim expression as he tapped against the top of the table. He bumped his hip to gain his attention, startling the younger.

“Hyung? Is there a problem?” Jungwoo’s so soft-spoken that Sicheng doesn’t understand why he chose to stay here next to a mansion with too much noise. He’s grown to a handsome young man since the days they had rolled in the mud in their family’s estate, outgrown the childish idea that they can be dirty as long as they’re having fun and stealing cookies. Jungwoo’s hair is now a wild shade of red, his brown roots showing from the lack of the same shade sold in stores. He’s wearing clothes Sicheng has bought for him as a gift from him: blue shirt tucked in grey pants with shiny shoes that Jungwoo rarely wore outside.

Sicheng smiled at him, ruffling his hair “None. I believe I need to leave.”

Jungwoo stared at the mansion next to his house, the lights illuminating despite the rain. It’s a sight to see with gold furnished in every wall like a work of art, the windows closed with the reflection of velvet curtains against them and the array of cars lined out front where guests of high regard flocked to become part of the festivity. It’s been a good few months since he’s moved to the neighborhood beside the infamous Jung mansion where the owner threw lavish parties, the sound of music always making the nights hard to sleep. He can’t really say that he wasn’t curious. It’s been the talk of his boss whenever they sat down to eat for lunch, boasting that he was given a raise due to his connections there.

“If you ever gained an invitation there, would you attend?” he asked as Sicheng walked past him after placing his washed cup back in its holder. The elder looked at him blankly. He’s not the partying type after he got engaged and not to mention how much he would rather stay at home when he isn’t running errands for his engagement. Jungwoo’s not even sure how he would coax Sicheng to actually entertaining the idea but he’s determined. There’s an invitation with Jungwoo’s name locked in his study drawer that could help him learn more of this town’s financial connections.

Sicheng couldn’t answer him because the moment he opened his mouth, there’s a knock on the door. Jungwoo went to open it with Sicheng in tow and bowed when he realized who it was. The steely gaze caught him offguard but it’s mostly the other man’s face as Sicheng bid him goodbye.

Sicheng took cover on the umbrella his fiancé carried, walking over to their car and waved at Jungwoo before they zoomed away.

 

Dong Sicheng doesn’t forget the melody he heard from Jungwoo’s house.

It rings at the back of his mind on loop with bits and pieces replaced with another sound he hasn’t recalled in a long time. The laughter that mingled with the melody that resembled a lullaby made him restless that night, tossing turning on the large bed. His fiancé had a sudden call from the office that he couldn’t turn down, merely telling Sicheng his plans before he left the door. There was no need to explain themselves to each other when they both knew where they were going. Sicheng wondered if their civility is why they seemed to be a normal couple to their families or that their indifference has made them suspicious.

Oh Sehun was a man of little word. It’s one of the things they had in common, their lack of communication causing the rift between them broadening.

Sicheng acted like he was happy most of the time, making the preparations and dealing with the mishaps while Sehun worked almost every hour. The times they settled the wedding plans were the only times Sicheng could spend time with him and he always lied to his parents about how sweet Sehun was when he doted on him.

No one needed to know the truth. Sicheng would sleep alone and eat alone most of the time at home, Sehun always absent unless their families wanted a dinner together. Sehun’s a kind man. Sicheng admired him ever since he first met him when his parents introduced them, his accomplishments well-known throughout his town that he couldn’t contain his excitement. His face was stony but as they continued exchanging stories, Sehun smiled more when he told him about how he’s almost fell down a roof because Sicheng wanted to ballet on the rails. They didn’t have that spark that could justify the marriage but they could be friends.

They met with his parents’ insistence, lunches that turned to dinners and turning into discussions of company merging. Sicheng’s parents wanted to have a branch in Korea but they weren’t that well-known in these parts. Sehun wanted to breach the Chinese market so as to gain more resources for the company in his parents’ behalf. It was plain to see what was going to happen that Sicheng could have missed it if he wasn’t present then.

Sehun proposed to him with a blank stare three months after that.

It’s a lackluster relationship. Built on contracts and false pretenses, Sicheng couldn’t really find a sadder story to tell. Between the responsibilities given to him and Sehun’s workaholic attitude, he’s already sensed that there’s something else in his mind.

“Did you sleep last night?” Sehun asked him when he came home in the middle of Sicheng’s meal, putting his coat on the rack and slipping into his home slippers. The younger drank the rest of his orange juice before he walked up to his fiancé to hug him.

“Hm. It’s fine. I managed.” He lied, burying his nose to Sehun’s neck. The latter didn’t speak before he placed a small kiss on the crown of Sicheng’s head, used to the random bouts of affection he gave. It’s not odd to him when they had established they were comfortable with touching casually.

Sicheng let go, the familiar cologne he only knew one person wore lingering on his nose and faked a smile. “Eat.”

He can’t blame Sehun for having someone else occupy his thoughts when Sicheng isn’t any different.

A voice singing him a lullaby, blue eyes and a laugh that made his stomach turn to knots helped him sleep at night with no one beside him as he returned to time where someone loved him.

 

(“Would you let me meet him?” Honey-hued hair framing a fair face, blue eyes overwhelmed by a desperation that didn’t match his overall aura of control as the words shook Jungwoo to the core. The library’s scent of old books with their musky vanilla and the strong aroma of earl gray was calming but Jungwoo feels anxious.

It was a privilege to meet the mysterious Jung who lorded over the mansion next to his house. But to meet him right after he visits for the first time, led up to the rooms where guests weren’t allowed and asked about his cousin out of the blue is strange. They have only exchanged names.

“Should I?” he retorted, protectiveness surging in his veins at the mention of Sicheng. Strangers always pointed out that his cousin was good-looking with his lips and air of innocence, always asking him if he was free. It’s not something he liked hearing especially when Sicheng doesn’t even care about his looks now that he’s too preoccupied thinking about the wedding. It’s all he talked about when they were hanging out, smiling sheepishly and saying sorry because he didn’t want to offend Jungwoo. They’re not as close as before because Jungwoo left his home when he realized that he didn’t want to live like a prisoner to money but Sicheng always helped him as much as he could.

His engagement was something Jungwoo didn’t agree with. The fiancé he chose had a lot of gossip surrounding him, the stories of his questionable friends and the person they were always seen with left a bad taste in Jungwoo’s mouth.

This blonde, looking out of place with his foreign looks and crisp accent, only smiled into his cup. “I am an old friend. He hasn’t responded to my invitation and I would like to hang out like old times with him.”

Jungwoo winced, remembering Sicheng’s words before about the mansion “It’s not his scene. He’s been so stressed over his parents pressuring him to-“ he stopped, unsure if he should disclose Sicheng’s upcoming marriage to a stranger. Jungwoo decided to keep quiet.

The other male tensed, eyes narrowing at his words before he stood up. Jungwoo didn’t take his eyes off him as he rounded the chair where he was sitting, placing his hands on his shoulders. He stiffened when he heard the whisper against his ear, cold tone making him shiver.

“Then I must insist he meets me. Tell him Yoonoh is looking for him.”

Jungwoo soon learned that Jaehyun would stare across the dock, right at where Sicheng lived and doesn’t know how to address the situation.)

 

The doorbell ringing at such ungodly hours made Sicheng stop eating, fork midway his mouth that the piece of ham flopped back down his plate.

He’s made a decent breakfast for two with eggs and ham with a side of toast, the other meal in the fridge if Sehun came home late again. He couldn’t sleep the night before that he’s cleaned the entire house, finished three books and still didn’t feel tired. While his limbs protested, his mind was too awake to doze off. The dark circles underneath his eyes is a testament to that and the bad ache on his back that intensified every time he walked was going to be a problem.

Sicheng tied his robe, hoping that it would give the illusion he has his life together. He combed his fingers through his hair to stop it from looking like a bird’s nest and opened the door.

Jungwoo is all smiles as he entered, shrugging his coat and his hat. He’s better dressed than normal, even wearing the shoes Sicheng gave him that the latter squinted at them before returning his gaze on Jungwoo. His cousin beamed even more “You’re holed up in this house again?” Sicheng nodded and Jungwoo continued “It’s not good for your well-being, hyung. So freshen up and we’ll head out.”

“What prompted this?” Sicheng asked, amused.

“Nothing. You always come visit me so I’m returning the favor,” Jungwoo pushed him up the stairs, ignoring his perplexed stare “But we’re just going to my house for the cake I bought for you and tea.”

“I’m not against the idea but-“

There were a lot of his plans that revolved around the cake tasting because the baker quit after Sehun said he wanted a cake that was safe for dogs to eat. Then he needed his suit fitted to him, still contemplating if he should wear white or black. Then there’s the agenda of meeting his mother for her accessory shopping later. But Jungwoo is pouting as if he knew what was going on in his head. It’s hard to turn down when Jungwoo has rarely visited.

It reminded him of the old times Jungwoo would sneak off from his lessons to play with Sicheng and so he finally agreed. “Let me change. I’m pretty sure you’d be embarrassed with me in pajamas.”

Jungwoo muttered something underneath his breath, sounding like “Someone would be but-“that Sicheng couldn’t decipher as he got inside his room to take a bath.

 

He’s dressed in semi-casual, forgoing the tie because it would make his striped blue polo too formal and brown slacks like he would go for tea at Jungwoo’s. The younger seemed adamant for him to dress nicer, a strange suggestion when he had never been particular about his clothing before. Sicheng didn’t mind but he was not going to change when it would take more time for them and he doesn’t want to waste his cousin’s time. Besides, he was still going to come back home anyways. There’s no use to flaunt himself when there’s only Jungwoo present.

“Should we take my car?” Sicheng suggested, not fond of the idea of taking public transport. Jungwoo always liked walking especially on clearer days to help him think. It’s not on his agenda to be covered in sweat today.

Jungwoo, however, surprises him as he waved a set of keys to Sicheng’s face “A generous friend of mine suggested for me to borrow his car so I hope it’s alright.”

He hummed in awe, staring at the new car model that’s been considered limited edition. The gold hood of the car glinted in the light to show off the impressive design. “My, Jungwoo. Where did you manage to have the time?” he says good-naturedly as he opened the door and slid in.

Jungwoo followed, putting on his seat belt and turning the engine on. “Meeting new people opens us to new experiences. Maybe even revisit old friends.”

“Such wise words,” Sicheng nodded, thinking back to his days juggling studies and social interaction. He’s been considered a warm person back then, always cute in his reactions and charming in his actions. Sometimes he looks in the mirror and tries to find that boy in the dark circles and shallow pallor of his reflection. “I sure wish I had your freedom.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Jungwoo’s statement settled the silence between them, the sound of the exhaust releasing gas as they passed the houses and past the huge mansion that Sicheng turned his head back. It’s different in daylight without the cars lining the road to participate in the party. It looked like a gilded birdcage, glittering with riches but speaking only of loneliness that cannot be drowned with excess. A magic spell is cast on it, a masquerade that lasts till midnight where anything can happen but won’t change the fact the illusion over their bleak lives filled with mundane elements they’ll go through until they die.

Jungwoo spoke when they parked the car, hugging him close out of the blue. “Why don’t you go inside first? I need to fetch something from the trunk.”

Sicheng is doubtful but he doesn’t argue. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference when he went inside the already opened doorway and saw a tray of pastries and two porcelain cups on their saucers beside the porcelain pot with intricate designs on the side.

He sat down one of the plush seats, taking a peach pastry and taking its sweet aroma before he took a bite.

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway, making him raise his head and choke when he saw a familiar face he hasn’t seen in years make jazz hands as he exclaimed “Surprise.”

 

They were children when they first met, bright-eyed and impressionable.

Sicheng is bestowed with gifts from his parents who wanted to flaunt their wealth, their child no exception. He’s given lavish birthday parties, five-tier cakes and presents that filled his room to the brim. It’s what made him a little naïve to the world outside his family’s estate, playing golf instead of ball at a young age and taught how to smile in dinner parties to gain favors. He’s learned how to speak four languages because he was deprived of meals if he didn’t memorize his lessons, dressed himself everyday like he was going to meet the president.

Sicheng didn’t have friends he considered his own. They were mostly his father’s business partners’ children who were told by their parents to suck up to him so they can be given a word in their company. It’s not fun for him when kids his age would remark that he is going to make his family name proud. He wanted to talk about the pretty flowers he wanted to give to his mother (though she would throw it away under pretense she was allergic later on). It’s gotten to a point that Sicheng refused to go socialize unless it absolutely needed, sticking to reading books and dancing until he was tired.

The eve of his birthday party he snuck out of the stuffy reception hall to pick some peaches.

The peach tree at the edge of their estate was old, owned by the neighbors whom his parents barely acknowledged because they weren’t of high status. Sicheng would stare at the tree, wanting to climb it when it started blooming flowers last spring. He’d been told it would be dirty to pick wild things but he didn’t care. His parents were too busy entertaining the guests to check on him and the children were distracted with the delicious food.

His suit is full of grass stains already when he stood at the trunk of the ancient tree, admiring the sturdy bark and its extending branches with its roots too big that it has risen from the soil. Sicheng takes off his penny loafers to make it easier for his feet to anchor. He held on one of the sturdier branch near, hauling his body upwards that the small leaves overhanging brushed against his hair. The leaves are thicker in the middle that he used his arm to brush them away from his eyes. When he’s almost on a safer position, leg outstretched to straddle the branch so he can finally get a fruit, a shriek and someone’s face greets him amongst the leaves.

Sicheng’s yelp was undignified. His grip slipped as he felt himself toppling back, hands outstretched to grab onto something, anything to not feel the impact of the ground. The sound of the ambulance comes to mind like a taunt and his parents never letting him out of their sights again. The freedom is slipping from his mind.

There’s a hand darting out to grab his wrist, making a sound of protest that doesn’t register in his mind as he’s pulled back and he managed with great effort to straddle the branch where a fair, messy-haired boy is staring at him bewilderedly.

The first thing Sicheng blurts out instead of a thank you is “Your eyes are pretty.” He doesn’t correct himself though because they were. Periwinkle blue, like his mother’s favorite dress, specked with brown flecks that seemed to glow in the low light. Sicheng knew of foreigners with interesting eye colors, bright and memorable that he envied them.

The boy smiled, dimples showing and Sicheng doesn’t know how someone can be so gifted. “Thank you. But you’re prettier.”

Sicheng titled his head, flustered at being called pretty when he’s so used to being called handsome and boyish by the girls he was forced to socialize with. His cheeks are warm, biting his lip in embarrassment. Perhaps he’s only saying it to be nice. “I’m not-“

“You’re my neighbor.” The boy cut off, pointing to the mansion with its bright lights and loud music that can still be heard at this distance “Why are you here and not enjoying the party there?”

Sicheng pouted at being interrupted. He doesn’t answer, crossing his arms and moving his body away to sulk.

The blue-eyed boy chuckled at his reaction. “I’m sorry. You were going to say a lie and I don’t like lies.”

“But it’s not a lie…I just don’t believe in it.” Sicheng defended. He petulantly raised his chin to not seem like he’s blushing down to his neck.

“I’ve seen you play ball in your yard from this tree. You’re awfully isolated.”

“I have no answer to that,” Sicheng murmured, returning his gaze to find the boy staring at him with an emotion he can’t decipher “Wait. Do you climb this tree a lot?”

The boy nodded, taking a nearby peach and plucking it with ease. He wipes it on his stained shirt, earning a look of curiosity from Sicheng as he adjusted his position to also grab one. He struggled pulling it from the stalk, almost squishing it as juice spilled down his hand. The boy laughed at his attempts and Sicheng uses his silk handkerchief to wipe the juice off with a huff. “This tree is my safe place. It’s where all the riches money can’t afford lie.”

“That can’t be true.”

The boy shook his head, more laughter bubbling out of his mouth. He looked so peaceful and unburdened with relaxed shoulders, carefree eyes that only regarded Sicheng in interest without malice. His words are soft, intimate enough to be kept between them “I see the sun rising and setting here, the way that the sky transforms into colors. It’s where I can enjoy peaches and not care about the mess I make because the wind is fresh and helps me think.” He paused, mulling over whether he should continue before looking into Sicheng’s eyes, the blueness of his irises striking the latter deep in his chest “I see a boy who dances like he’s not a gilded bird in a golden cage and wonder if he’ll be able to fly my way.”

Sicheng’s eyes are wide with wonder. The boy reaches between them, holding out the peach he picked in front of Sicheng’s face. He gestured for him to take it, placing it into his scooped hands. Sicheng felt the weight of the fuzzy fruit, rubbing a thumb on the skin before biting into it.

Sweet tart explodes into his mouth, juice spilling down his chin. But it’s the other boy’s soft smile that makes him feel too warm.

As he ate, he asked between bites “What’s your name?”

“Yoonoh. Jung Yoonoh.” Sicheng spoke it back, trying how it sounds in his mouth and realized he liked it. He does hope he didn’t butcher it but Yoonoh is only smiling like Sicheng couldn’t do him wrong.

So Sicheng smiled back, heart fluttering as he told his name and enjoying how Yoonoh says it like it’s a treasure he wants to cherish.

Sicheng goes back when the party is dying down, not looking back to Yoonoh in fear he might get cold feet and stay up there talking all night. But he can’t, he knows he can’t. It doesn’t end well when his parents don’t get their way after all. He just made a new friend he actually wanted to keep. He doesn’t want him disappearing.

His parents didn’t notice his absence but they do crinkle their noses at the spot of juice on his collar and made him change. They wrapped up the party, sending Sicheng to bed without even letting him blow out the candles of his cake.

 

Jaehyun is nervous.

He couldn’t speak without clearing his throat, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt as he tugged on it every second and couldn’t look into Sicheng’s eyes. It’s a different mannerism that Sicheng isn’t used to, still gaping at the blonde as if he’s seen a ghost. He might as well have because unshed tears spring to his eyes as he rushed out of his chair to hug him.

There’s a sign of contentment, arms wrapping around him with a hand soothingly rubbing circles on his back. Sicheng’s muttering incoherencies that he can’t really think straight. He pulled away with his hands on his shoulders, face filled with disbelief.

“How?” he breathed out, stumbling over what else to say and settled with cradling his face to see if he was real.

Jaehyun did a short laugh, ending it with a huff before he touched the hand on his face. He can’t look away from Sicheng, the fondness he felt already bleeding out without him needing to say anything. He’s grown so much, brown hair framing his forehead that he resisted brushing it aside to kiss his forehead. His dark eyes glittered despite how he’s trying not to cry, lower lip quivering and smiling shakily at being overwhelmed. He’s still as pretty as the first time he saw him.

“I thought you died in the war. They sent me a letter that you were…” he can’t finish his sentence without choking.

“It’s not much of a story. But I’m here now. I’m sorry if you waited long.”

Sicheng stiffened and his eyes turned downcast. He lowered his head in shame and is about to withdraw his hand when Jaehyun brushes on something metal wrapped around one of his fingers. His wrist is seized as Jaehyun raised it to take a good look at the silver band with an opal stone around Sicheng’s ring finger.

The question is unspoken but it rings heavy in the air and Sicheng jolted away from his old sweetheart like he was burned.

 

Sicheng thought he was in love when he was fifteen.

Amidst the boarding school he’s sent to so that he can apply for a better university out of state, the summers were what he looked forward to where he can peel back the goody-two shoes perfect smile he kept and be who he wants to be. It’s hard to pretend to be nice to people who only care about wealth and background especially when they want favors from him. He’s not a pushover that will bend because people who think they’re higher than him make demands like homework or projects with snide remarks that he was good at it. The only person he liked from boarding school was a senior named Moon Taeil who taught him about astronomy, nights spent outside the balcony of their shared rooms with blankets around their shoulders peering into Taeil’s telescope to record the stars.

One of the things that Taeil was good at was reading Sicheng. Especially that one night where Sicheng was recounting about his days back home, the good memories of peaches and blue eyes and the consecutive stolen hours so he can hang out with Yoonoh and Taeil says “I’m jealous of this guy.”

He clamped his mouth shut, cutting his story off about Yoonoh’s mother making them peach cobbler to choke out “What?”

Taeil raised an unconvinced eyebrow, corner of his mouth tugging up in a subdued smirk. “You’re not much of an affectionate person here and I know that because every time I try to show you my love, you kind of push me away lovingly.”

Sicheng scoffed, leaning down to try and see Venus but Taeil hugged him at his side and he instinctively pushes him away. He groaned when he saw the satisfied smile on the elder’s face “I understand where you’re going with this but I don’t see what you want me to admit.”

“It’s not hard to see the hearts in your eyes when you talk about him,” Taeil hummed “I’ve never heard you talk about someone this much and how you two act, it’s clear you understand each other more than anyone else could.”

He really is good at reading him especially when he added “I guess I don’t have a chance to woo you. Not when your heart’s already owned. But I’ll still see you as my precious little brother. Come here!” and proceeded to tackle Sicheng into a smothering hug he can’t get out off.

Taeil’s words stuck to him throughout his journey home, echoing like a broken record and almost sounding like a gospel that Sicheng had to sleep most of the ride to get rid of them. It doesn’t help that when he got out of the car, the first thing he saw is Yoonoh waiting in front of his gate reading the newspaper. He was wearing a white shirt, one strap of his suspenders hanging off his shoulder with pressed slacks and beaten up work boots. His hat is pulled low over his eyes that he didn’t see Sicheng approach him with his suitcase in hand.

Sicheng doesn’t understand why he’s nervous. His heart is beating too fast it’s annoying, putting a hand on his cheek to find that he’s warming up and there’s that jittery elation when he finally stood in front of Yoonoh. The happiness is overwhelming him so he masks it with annoyance before he pulled Yoonoh’s hat down to cover his eyes.

“Hey! Who has the guts to-“

Sicheng rolled his eyes, walking past as Yoonoh takes off his hat to finally see him “I’d rather say my guts are made of steel then. You’re easy to sneak up on if you keep your face down.”

Yoonoh chuckled, brim of his hat touching his lips before he placed it on his chest and bowed “Why, your majesty. I rather keep my head up to see you then. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“Someone call the doctor before I get infected too then.” Sicheng bantered, hugging his friend tightly before flicking his forehead. “What were you thinking, waiting for me in front of the gates?”

“Your parents still have that leash around your neck? They seemed to like me enough when I visited before.” Yoonoh has the audacity to wink as if he didn’t remember what kind of catastrophe that was. His mother’s barely hidden contempt at inviting someone she saw as inferior, his father not able to stomach being in the same room as Yoonoh without inquires about his family history. The blonde hair and blue eyes however made them stare too long at him as if dissecting how he seemed so poor when he looked like that, murmuring about being a bastard that Sicheng had to excuse both of them to stop from bursting in anger.

There are fingers snapping in front of his eyes, flinching as he returned to the present as Yoonoh stared at him in worry. Sicheng blushed at being caught off guard. But the flush could be from how close Yoonoh is as Taeil’s words echoed in his head. He turned away, walking away from the gate “Well, I don’t really want to see them right now,” he admitted, Yoonoh stepping up beside him with curious eyes “They’re not happy that I chose the university they didn’t pick for me. A difference in opinion.”

Difference in opinion was an understatement. They had threatened him with disownment if he so much as signed the application form, blaming bad influences and how he’s been granted too much freedom. He didn’t reply to them for a month, letter sent to him burned because he has a right to.

Yoonoh doesn’t say anything, having caught mind of his mood. He always did that, speaking without words and Sicheng would somehow understand him. There were many situations where they would look in each other’s eyes, move their lips and nod that they’d be able to know what the other meant. It helped when there were people in the room with loose mouths who were more than happy to stir up their quiet little haven. Growing up with him was an experience that Sicheng likened to metamorphosis. If he hadn’t met him, he’d still be that caterpillar eating away at the same leaves where his parents left him under their control. He’s changing from when everything was about pleasing his parents, cocooning himself and spinning a life he can actually be happy about without anyone guiding his ambitions. He wants to dance, he wants to _live._

So when he reached out to intertwine their fingers, walking over to their peach tree (it’s theirs, no one else’s- he’s sure because amidst their little meetings, he has carved their initials on the bark) and looked at Sicheng with affection dancing in his eyes, maybe. Just maybe.

Maybe he was in love.

 

The silence is stifling.

Jungwoo came in with a smile on his face, expecting some grand reunion happening in his living room. He hoped he did the right thing to make them meet up without Sicheng’s fiancée knowing. He didn’t really care about Sehun’s opinion especially when he didn’t share them in the first place. Jungwoo hasn’t exchanged more than a few words with him when he came to pick up Sicheng. But it’s still the reality that Sicheng is going to get married, the history between Jaehyun and him to be left just as that.

So his smile slipped when he crossed the threshold, seeing the two sitting five feet apart with their backs to each other.

“Um, are you two okay?” He asked to no one in particular.

Sicheng looked at him with such betrayal that Jungwoo almost caved to ask for forgiveness but his gaze squints at Jaehyun from the corner of his eye. He wants an explanation. “Jungwoo, care to tell me this is your guest?” The acid in his tone is really making Jungwoo reconsider this.

Jungwoo sighed, pulling off an apologetic face to convey what he felt “This is Jung Jaehyun. He’s my neighbor.”

There’s a furrow between Sicheng’s brows, turning to Jaehyun “Jaehyun? Neighbor?” he repeated before looking over his shoulder to the mansion that’s barely seen from the window. The memories of the lavish parties and invitations come back to him that he clenched his fists where they sat atop his thighs.

Jaehyun turned to Jungwoo this time, smiling apologetically “I’m sorry for the trouble.” He whispered, cupping his mouth so Sicheng wouldn’t hear. There’s no reason he should be apologizing but he seems like he’s concerned about his cousin’s comfort that he will do it otherwise. But he’s not leaving.

“If this is why you made me go out of the house, I think we’re done here. I still have matters to attend to and I don’t-“

“Hyung, please. You need to calm down.” Jungwoo quipped, startled at the tension in Sicheng’s shoulders and stormy look in his eyes. His temper was always mild, never angry without reason so seeing this is unusual. He doesn’t know what they talked about the few minutes he waited outside to give them space but it wasn’t good.

Jaehyun is calmer than him at least but he too is displeased by something. Perhaps his intentions aren’t pure at all and there’s already a hindrance to whatever he has planned for this meeting to go through. But he looked sad too, barely there that if he didn’t see how his eyes shifted when he tried not to stare at Sicheng and Jungwoo doesn’t know what to do when he’s stuck in a rock and a hard place.

Maybe they need more time to talk.

So he decided. “Why don’t the three of us take a drive?”

“Is that what this is? About his generosity to letting you borrow his car? You shouldn’t be indebted to him.” Sicheng hissed through his teeth, pulling Jungwoo’s wrist to drag him closer. “Jungwoo, this is insane.”

Jungwoo licked his lips nervously, gnawing at his lower lip “Listen. I understand you don’t want to talk to him but he’s been trying to reach you for so long. I don’t know your history but why not just give him a chance?”

A frustrated sigh escaped Sicheng’s lips, messing his hair up as he ran his fingers through the strands. Jaehyun looked at them in curiosity and mildly veiled amusement. “I’ve given him a chance to explain. I’ve did my waiting for him to come back. Six years of it. But all I had was a letter at the age of 20 with condolences for his death from his dying mother.” He jerked his head, words too loud for just Jungwoo to hear, at Jaehyun to meet his eyes “Don’t tell me about chances. I’ve wasted enough.”

 

They end up driving to town, Jungwoo in the back seat with the excuse of the bright sunlight that left Sicheng in the front seat pointedly looking out the window. Jaehyun is driving this time, seriousness written all over his face. His eyes flicker every so often to Sicheng but the latter doesn’t even acknowledge him through the drive. It’s a stifling silence, the kind that suffocates you and Jungwoo tries to diffuse it. It was his idea to make them meet after all. He needed to take responsibility.

“Can we stop by the bay? The sea is beautiful today.” He suggested, turning from Jaehyun to Sicheng “You haven’t gone to the beach since you’ve been so busy lately.”

Sicheng huffed “I do go to the beach.”

“Once in a while when you collect seashells to put in the giveaways for the wedding.”

Jaehyun seemed to move his head abruptly, stopping enough that he didn’t look too affected by the words. Sicheng did notice it and he returned his gaze outside.

“I haven’t thought that perhaps someone has mistaken me. Maybe I’ve mistook your neighbor for someone else, hm?” He glared at Jaehyun “What was your name again?”

“Jung Jaehyun.”

Sicheng barked a hollow laugh, hurting Jaehyun to the core. He didn’t want to make Sicheng think that he did it to run away from him. It was never about leaving him and he understood why he was so angry at him. But he needed to change his identity. Just to see him again. Right now, Sicheng wasn’t amiable to explanations so Jaehyun bit down the words that were ringing in his head. Words he had always wanted to tell him.

There weren’t that many people in the bay area that day. Considering there was a high tide in the early morning, imprints of where the waves used to wash over and scattered bits of shells and seaweed embedded in the wet sand. The sky was bluer than most days, disappearing in the horizon to make way for the fluctuating blue and green of the waters, rolling waves making a soft sound when they hit shore. There were children making sand castles near the waves, giggling when the water hit their makeshift towers and digging into the sand to make a well to collect water. Their parents sat under their umbrellas, sipping cold drinks and dressed for the occasion.

Sicheng smelled the salt, the scent only unique to the sea where he feels calm wash over his body as the breeze brushed against his face. He turned back to Jungwoo who’s complaining about sand under his soles, laughing a little as he leaned on the hood of the car to remove his shoes. The first contact of sand crushing under his foot is ticklish, going between his toes and he bunched up his slacks without a care.  Jaehyun followed with his shoes set beside the car, rolling his sleeves. The movement made Sicheng stop, blinking because there’s a scar that peeked out. It’s jagged and old, half of it exposed that he met Jaehyun’s eyes. The latter’s smile is tight-lipped before Jungwoo threw his arm around Sicheng that had him leaning forward, breaking the moment.

The male leaned close to his ear, whispering “Just hear him out. It’s not his fault.”

“How do you know? Has he told you about me?” Sicheng hissed under his breath, elbowing Jungwoo on the side.

Jungwoo shook his head, pushing him forward to not make it seem suspicious “No but he’s trying to reconnect with you. I know there is something between you even after everything and if this will make you less like a robot, then so be it. Please. Let him explain. You know in yourself that things happened for a reason and if you keep pushing him away, then don’t act like you’re being wounded inside when he leaves.”

Sicheng turned back. He didn’t see Jaehyun following them. Instead, he’s gone to walk to the other side of the beach that’s devoid of people. He’s familiar with this place. Questions fill his head too fast for him to count and he can’t really answer them on his own.

Jungwoo lets him go, but a pointed look told him no one was leaving this beach without answers.

 

“Yoonoh.”

Jaehyun jerked his head up, gulping when he saw Sicheng approach him. He’s enjoying the waves hitting his outstretched legs as he sat on the edge of the rock a stretch from where they parked the car. There was a pool where an array of rocks in different sizes stood that was perfect for sitting down as the wind was cooler, a familiar place where he often got lost in thought in early mornings. Sicheng’s calves were caked in spots of sand. Did he run all the way here? Jaehyun didn’t even think he noticed him walking away from them.

Sicheng took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He collected himself before moved over to sit with his back to him. Jaehyun waited. He’s not sure how he can talk to him after his outburst. Sicheng’s wasn’t the type to hold grudges before, always trying to be calm or at least not be irrational over something that can be talked over without blowing things out of proportion. Maybe there were too many changes present in the span of their separation. Jaehyun who always tried to make sense of Sicheng’s body language, trying to understand where his thoughts end and where his actions begin.

His old name sounded like honey in Sicheng’s mouth and he folded immediately. “I’m sorry about-“ Sicheng shook his head, silencing him immediately. They just sit there, enjoying the sea with their hearts laid down without anyone willing to accept them.

“Why did they send that letter your mother?” he asked in an airy tone, stripped out of his throat and heavier than the smell of saltwater around them.

Jaehyun’s eyes shifted, from the sky that’s now covered in wisps of clouds moving slowly to the hermit crab crawling up the boulder in front of him. Memories flood back to him about that day, writing that letter himself with a gun on his head. War was brutal. Jaehyun still has the physical manifestations of his time back in the field.  There were things he wanted to forget when he’s trying to sleep at night, now he’s lulled every night with alcohol in his system and a name he calls for when he’s at his weakest.

“Self-preservation.” He answered, licking his lips “There was a setback in my last mission. Five men ambushed my team that they kept us in their base to write letters to our family of how we will die.”

Sicheng sucked a breath through his nose, stifling the gasp he made. He fiddled with his fingers, twisting his engagement ring to ease the bubbling worries that’s overcoming him.  The movement reflected light right to Jaehyun’s eyes and his attention shifted to it.

“How about you? Is he good to you?” There’s the underlying question in between, it’s in his eyes dancing around that Sicheng doesn’t know how to explain to him. How does one answer when there’s nothing to compare?

_Does he love you like I did? Like I still do?_

The sea is still. It’s waiting for Sicheng’s answer too. There’s only time between them now, no pretenses and excuses when they are trying to mend what’s left of them.  This was what he wanted before, right? A way of explanation. A way for Jaehyun to tell him why he didn’t come back even after being released.

Does he lie? He turned, looking over to Jaehyun to find him looking back. There’s love in his gaze. His mouth twitched into a smile, soft features casted by the sunlight. Jaehyun was the siren in this sea, beautiful and ethereal and he hasn’t even casted his song to easily reel Sicheng in.

He moved, twisting his body to rest his forehead against Jaehyun’s nape. There’s a sharp intake of breath from him, shoulders slouching to accommodate the weight on his back. He reached over tentatively, afraid of what it might entail. They can talk more later he’s sure. But right now he wants to bask in his presence. It was nice to feel this again. The warmth is welcoming. There’s no justification really when his heart understood there will be something gained from this, knowing that it’s reciprocated. Perhaps he can’t really make himself feel any better when everything is already so bleak. More lies would only make him sick.

His hand moved closer, Jaehyun’s meeting his halfway. Finger interlocked between them, there’s a spark that crawls up his spine like a warning. It’s familiar. So familiar. The smell of peaches overwhelmed his senses with every breath he took. Sweet like he can taste it at the tip of his tongue and lulling him to sleep like those days under the sheets of Jaehyun’s bed when the silence of his empty mansion was too much. He hooked his chin on Jaehyun’s shoulder, looking over the vast sea as he brushed his lips on his ear to whisper.

“No.”

Jaehyun’s hand tightened around his.

 

“Do you remember my favorite flavor?”

Of course, he did. Everything about him is imprinted in his mind. So he smiled, handing him the cone with strawberry and tiramisu ice cream. Sicheng smiled graciously, eyelashes fluttering when he looked up at Jaehyun before he reached over to take it, brushing their fingers.

“Thank you.” Sicheng licked the side, relishing the sweetness of the treat.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do.” Jaehyun chuckled as he watched Sicheng devour his cone, not caring that he’s getting melting ice cream between his fingers and down his chin. A messy eater. He still hasn’t changed which only made his heart beat faster. Nothing’s changed.

Sicheng made a sound as he realized the sticky mess on his hands “Oh great,” he pouted and adjusted his cone so he can hold the less sticky part “You must think I’m a child.”

Jaehyun shook his head “You’ve always been enthusiastic about food, Sicheng. It’s no problem. Here-“ he cut off, surprised at the sight of the boy licking messily on his skin. A kittenish tongue lapping on the drops and dragging slow and deliberate up to the top before slurping on the scoops once more. He looked up through his lashes, curiously assessing his reaction.

Sicheng tilted his head when Jaehyun reached over to wipe the sheen of saliva across his lips, thumb dangerously slipping inside his mouth before tissues are thrust into his free hand with an unreadable expression. He’s unsure whether he should be disappointed or satisfied with it. There was not much to broach the subject of what they should do now but Sicheng wants to feel that attention again, the feeling of being wanted. Jaehyun was always taking it slow before, not in the aspect of sex but more how he persuaded Sicheng. He knew him like the back of his hand, their kisses hot when they were hiding in his parents’ basement with their hands inside their shirts and always there to sing him lullabies when he’s having bad nights.

His touch lingered far too long, leaning closer without any thought and Sicheng instinctively closed his eyes.

“There you are!” Jungwoo’s voice snapped them out of their stupor, Sicheng realizing what was happening as he jolted away in a panic. He didn’t want to be seen like this by his own cousin who has his own suspicions now. Jaehyun sighed as he let Sicheng turn to Jungwoo, faking a smile while the younger pulled at his sleeve.

He leaned close, hand cupping near his mouth to whisper “We need to go home.”

Sicheng furrowed his brows “What for?”

“Did you forget what you told me about having plans you needed to finish? And not to mention, your fiancé would be looking for you when he finds the house locked when you haven’t told him where you were going.” Jungwoo emphasized the word fiancé, eyes shifting nervously. It’s a ruse that Sicheng recognized with the implications on how he’ll talk his way out if his routine was broken out of nowhere. He bit his lower lip, turning to Jaehyun with an apologetic smile.

“We need to go.” he hesitated when he saw Jaehyun’s disappointment “I’ll see you tomorrow. At your house.”

Jaehyun chuckled, taking Sicheng’s hand and kissing the back of it. He withdrew with a nod before he gestured for them to go back to the car “Let’s go then while it’s still early.”

Jungwoo climbed in the back of the car, keeping a close eye on the two. He’s afraid for Sicheng, not enough to stop the two from pursuing their attraction but enough that he knew what would happen to him if they were to be found out. Sehun might not love Sicheng but there was too much at stake for the engagement to be broken, the prosecution that would paint Sicheng as the bad guy. Jungwoo knew that neither of them was innocent, not when he has seen Sehun with a pretty male on one of the times he’s visited the company for his boss.

Jaehyun whispered close to Sicheng’s ear, brushing his lips against his cheek feather light that Jungwoo would have missed it if he blinked. Sicheng pursed his lips as he climbed up the front seat with an unreadable expression, calm but hiding the storm in his mind. Jungwoo has known him enough that while he is conflicted, he is enjoying the attention. This was the happiest he’s seen him in the whole time of his engagement and that is why Jungwoo, despite how he’s also conflicted, will cover for him.

The car drove off and Sicheng looked at Jungwoo through the mirror with a plea.

 

Sicheng would have to pinch himself soon to wake up from this dream.

It’s been wonderful spending time with Jaehyun, sneaking away from his wedding planner who he hired just to make sure some work is being made and spending time in the remote villa when the mansion was deemed too risky to be seen together. The blonde has become infamous with his wealth, journalists and publishers crowing at his gates to see the slightest sight of him to prove that Jung Jaehyun existed. Sicheng doesn’t participate in his parties more than he needed to, content with watching the scene from Jaehyun’s balcony with a glass of champagne and Jaehyun’s arm around his waist. There were people he was familiar with from Sehun’s circle of connections, doing things that could never hold their reputation up with the controversy of it.

A Park who’s running against the Byuns having relations with their eldest son, a jazz singer that’s being attended by a married Chinese mogul and the bribery going through rounds of wine and cheese where the law can’t touch them. Sicheng hasn’t seen anything like this, wonder shining in his eyes when Jaehyun explained about how he had rose from the ashes and created an empire.

Jungwoo comes to these events, mostly to look after him. But Jaehyun has found a way to distract him by means of Wong Yukhei, a young man who’s trading land with Jaehyun to expand his business. He’s charmed Jungwoo enough with his callous words and carefree attitude, foreign for Jungwoo’s traditional ways that they’ve gone out a few dates. At the very least, Jungwoo is getting something from this arrangement.

Jaehyun…how does he begin to describe what they are?

He feels fifteen all over again, in love and uncaring of the consequences that came with that idealistic age. He’s never felt this happy, soaking in the warmth and affection showered on him. Jaehyun always took him out to dinner, walking through the bay as they talked about anything they can think of. Sicheng told him of wanting a dog, about going on vacation to Switzerland and about the flowers he’s planted in his backyard. There were things that Jaehyun didn’t tell him directly, how he liked his coffee in the morning, how he always blushed when Sicheng kissed his knuckles when he admired his hands and sometimes he doesn’t go beyond making out.

Maybe it was the fear of being found out but Jaehyun would always flaunt him in subtle ways when they were out in public. A casual brush of their shoulders, walking close with their hands bumping to each other and a gentle tug of his wrist to guide him through the streets. If he was feeling bolder, he’d run his hands through Sicheng’s hair as he ruffled it then pull him into an embrace whenever there wasn’t anyone looking. Even when there were times that Jaehyun wanted to do more than break the image Sicheng has long developed through the years of being abandoned, Sicheng stopped him.

But jealousy is unavoidable. Sicheng still went home to Sehun, being the best fiancé he could be while they continued making plans. The honeymoon is in Spain, Sehun’s dog Vivi would be walking down the aisle too with the ring bearer and their parents still commented how it was great they were getting married during dinner. Sehun was civil with him but he’s grown distant, more so as of late as he comes home tired and his ring is tucked in his pocket until he slips it back on when Sicheng noticed it amiss. There were times Sehun would look at him with this sadness, opening his mouth to say something but then close it before holding him close.

They were fooling everyone but there is no end to this charade when it was clear there’s no way out.

So Jaehyun sometimes held his wrist when he’s trying to go home, pleading him silently to just stay. It’s a familiar situation in reverse, almost ironic that it would make him laugh a little inside. Except it’s not funny when Jaehyun kisses him slowly, lips melding as he whispered “Stay” again and again. Rinse and repeat. Until Sicheng would go home less and less, excuses slipping smoothly when his parents asked where he was and maybe the worst out of it all is that Sehun never noticed. Everything was in place and Sicheng would sleep in Jaehyun’s bed with the other’s silk shirt as they read books to ease the atmosphere, sharing kisses that ended with marks on his neck and breathless laughter as he tucked under Jaehyun’s chin listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

He ended up staying because he’s weak.

Because amidst it all, he enjoyed Jaehyun. From his eagerness to strip him to nothing but a mewling mess, ripping his buttons and mouthing against his neck enough it would leave a tingle, careful as he raked his nails in Sicheng’s hair as he pushed inside him to the electric shock that came down his spine when he licked into his mouth like a man starving. Jaehyun who would mark him in places that it couldn’t be seen, sometime reckless when he bit down on Sicheng’s thigh to remind him he belonged here in his bed, molted blue eyes burning when the sunrise came and his lips are bruised from kissing. Sicheng would return his fervor by marking him, feeling their recklessness from their teenage years resurface like an untamed beast, nails scratching down Jaehyun’s back that they would contrast with his skin. It was so beautiful to see, red and purple dotting his collarbone like a necklace that screamed his name.

There were nights, it was slow. Just kissing, lips melding and pulling apart only to leave more as they trailed down to his ear and whispering sweet nothings. They would take their time with taking off their clothes then, relishing at every skin they uncovered with a delicate touch and then laugh when the old marks still lingered. It was the artist and their art. Sicheng and Jaehyun who would do anything for him to be happy. So he let him dress him in his clothes, shirts too big he needed to roll the sleeves and a necklace made of gold that hung around his neck whenever he visited. 

There was no ending to this fantasy. Not while Sicheng has a say. Not when everything is at it is.

 

Sehun’s home early.

The distinct sound of his car jolted Sicheng from his seat, the receiver dropped back to its cradle in haste. He has to ask Jaehyun for forgiveness when they meet for cutting their phone call short as he fixed his clothes to greet the elder. Sehun’s surprised at the sight of him but lets him pull the jacket off his shoulders to hang on the coat hanger. He loosened his tie, staring at Sicheng as if deciphering why he was here. It unnerved him, smiling sheepishly at the sudden attention before clearing his throat.

“Is everything alright?” He fought the urge to bit his thumb, moving back to the living room to sit down and pretend he is fluffing the pillows. He had told Jaehyun he would sleep over again because Sehun mentioned he had a meeting that involved business discussed over dinner, already thinking of what to cook for Jaehyun.

Sehun’s smile is tight-lipped. “I didn’t expect you to be here. I thought you were out with Jungwoo again.”

It’s the first time he’s acknowledged Sicheng’s absence in their house. It also made Sicheng realize he’s gone home the times he was away and didn’t even bring it up to him until now. He’s unsure if it means well for him or if Sehun’s resigned to whatever he’s doing as a means of justifying his own actions. Silence overcomes them, Sicheng biting down his lower lip so hard he almost split it before Sehun spoke again.

“Can I ask a favor from you?” Sehun sat down beside him, placing his hand atop his in a sudden movement “It’s not much. I know you already have too much on your plate with your parents’ breathing down your neck for this marriage to happen and I don’t want you to think I hate you for it.”

What? What is going on? Sicheng blinked, again and once more before he whipped his head up from their hands to Sehun’s face. He’s trying to comprehend, no, make sense of this situation. His lips morphed into a cross between a smile and frown, pursing them before nodding. He’s too speechless.

Sehun sighed, nodding to himself “It’s weird, I know. You’re going to be part of my life any way I see it so we need to get used to this.”

“But why? You’re not- I mean, you and I. We’re not going to fall in love and make this a happy ending.” Sicheng snapped out of his confusion, laying down the truth before he can stop himself. Sehun doesn’t look offended but he does let his hand wrap around Sicheng’s now.

It felt wrong. It’s nothing like their shared silence, too intimate when he’s resolved to having this loveless marriage out of responsibility and carrying this affair to the grave but Sehun’s trying to make it work. Like a real couple, as if this would change everything they’ve established.

It’s working too well.

“I’m not saying we will. But ignoring each other while you work with the wedding isn’t going to help us both. And I do want people to know about you. They’ll be seeing you because my father resolved we should work together after we get married.”

“Sehun, it’s not that I don’t think this is good for us but it’s so sudden.” Sicheng murmured, biting the inside of his cheek. His heart is plummeting at the sadness that came on the elder’s eyes before he steeled his gaze and stood straight, letting go of his hand.

“You’re right, it is. And honestly, I wish we could just keep pretending that we haven’t been acting like a couple and stay at this friendship we’ve made all this time but my clients have asked about my ring and they want to meet you too. For the sake of the company.” There’s the Sehun he was familiar with, calculating and always thinking about the betterment of the company despite his mind being somewhere else entirely. It’s easy to talk to Sehun when he’s building an invisible gap between them and Sicheng nodded, calmer now that it’s turned out to be like this. If it was personal…Sicheng shuddered. He wouldn’t be able to look at Sehun in the eye without guilt festering inside him.

Just because they had the same sins doesn’t mean Sicheng will be excused for it.

“What do you need me with?” He can do this. He can be Dong Sicheng, Sehun’s fiancé and go back to Jaehyun to forget how he’s strung around like a puppet.

Sehun smiled gratefully “I’ve been invited by Jung Jaehyun and Wong Yukhei for dinner to discuss some stocks and shares they wanted to invest in. They’ve asked for me to bring you too.”

Sicheng’s smile twitched and he widened it so much, it hurt “Okay.”

 

The mansion looked imposing now as he walked up the marble stairs, looming over him with the foreboding doom he felt. The entrance that he used to think was so beautiful in the morning with its rose hedges and water fountain sparkling in the sunlight now seemed to remind him of how he didn’t belong beside his fiancé. Sehun drove them to the meeting place this time, giving him some information he didn’t need about who they were meeting. Jung Jaehyun who’s owned a number of businesses around the dock with an investment that could develop their company more with how renowned Jaehyun was. Though unconventional, Sehun’s heard about him from the whispers in the board room. Excessive, greedy and untrustworthy among other insults but he’s also known to change people’s status with a flick of his wrist and a hefty check. So he’s resolved to meeting him while Wong Yukhei who’s agreed to a merge of divisions as a way of expansion.

This is strictly business, Sicheng thought. It’s best to keep appearances, ignore how the staff and servants that attended the house would look at him in wonder, eyes lingering on the hand he had tucked on the crook of Sehun’s arm as they rang the doorbell. He can see them whispering amongst themselves before they avoided his gaze as the door opened.

Jaehyun is in a formal brown suit, smiling pleasantly as he kept his gaze on Sehun. With a flourish of his arm, he announced “So glad you can make it, Mr. Oh.”

Sehun nodded curtly and reached out a hand to shake. “The pleasure is mine, Mr. Jung. I hope we aren’t imposing.”

The two men shook hands, sizing each other up. It’s tense between them already, Jaehyun’s smile strained when Sehun let go to place his hand on Sicheng’s shoulder.

“This is my fiancé, Dong Sicheng. We’re happy for your interest in our company.”

“I love company, especially when they are pleasant.” Jaehyun reached out to shake Sicheng’s hand too, intense stare cutting Sicheng to the core. He took his hand, only to make a muffled sound when the other placed a chaste kiss when he thought Sehun wasn’t looking. Sicheng clenched his fist, holding down the blush as Jaehyun winked at him.

Sicheng pointedly looked away, smiling when he saw Sehun turn his attention to him. “Likewise.” He bit out through gritted teeth hoping no one noticed.

“Well, we should go inside. I’m famished and I’m sure you two would like to eat too. Yukhei is inside with his date so I hope it’s alright with you.” Jaehyun walked across the halls, heels clicking when he did with his hands behind his back. There’s no hesitation, no shame and Sicheng is afraid what he might do.

Sehun leaned close to his ear as they crossed the threshold, whispering “What do you think?”

“Hm?”

“About him. You look like you want to kill him with a gaze.”

Sicheng blushed, hiding his embarrassment with a laugh on the back of his hand. He should keep his emotions in check before Sehun thinks he’s trying to mess the deal up. “No, no. He’s fine.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you think good of me.” Jaehyun spun on his heel to turn back to them, thinly veiled jealousy present as he assessed how close they were talking.  His voice is louder than intended, coming out as an insult but Sehun didn’t seem to pick it up.

The dining room is large, a long mahogany table in the middle atop an intricate rug with a set of five ornate chairs; one on the head of the table, two at both sides. There are plates of steaming dishes served, roast beef covered in gravy, sweet and sour fish, and egg drop sound that were few of Sicheng’s favorites, leaving his mouth watering. His attention is shifted when he realized who was sitting in one of the chairs next to Wong Yukhei.

Jungwoo managed to stop Yukhei from pointing him out and exclaiming the shock evident in his face. He’s whispering furiously to Jungwoo, demanding answers but Sicheng averted his gaze as he sat down near the head of the table. Sehun made a grunt, moving close to Jungwoo to shake his hand. His face said it all, asking why Jungwoo is here when he didn’t announce he too was joining. Jungwoo explained quietly that Yukhei invited him and it was rude to reply. Sehun was about to help pull his chair if it weren’t for Jaehyun beating him to it. The elder raised a brow at him before shrugging and sitting down next to him.

“Whatever you’re playing, stop it.” Sicheng whispered at Jaehyun, furious and despite how he’s delighted with his kindness, he still wished he didn’t make it a competition.

Jaehyun shrugged, self-satisfied smirk stuck to his face as he sat down at the head of the table. He laced his hands together, leaning his chin on his fingers. He kept his sight on Sicheng from the corner of his eye, watching him as he ate and conversed with Sehun once in a while.

“So, Mr. Oh. I’m sure that you’ve already made the terms of agreement for our contract so I don’t want to bore you with details. I’m sure you have enough time on your hands with how you’re working a lot.”

Oh no. Sicheng almost choked on the soup.

Sehun chuckled, taking a swig of his wine “You’re not conventional as they said, Mr. Jung. But I have already mailed the files you needed for the contract. It’s easier if we discussed it though.”

“Oh? But why would we need to do so?” Jaehyun tilted his head, feigning ignorance.

Yukhei cut in, loud voice alerting everyone “Well, we already set the arrangements. Your secretary was nice enough to entertain us about the files but needed to have your authority. I hadn’t known you left so much power to him.”

It’s clear that Sehun is affected by his words, shoulders tensing as he clenched his jaw. He turned to Sicheng for a moment, assessing his reaction before addressing the two “Yes, he’s efficient. He’s been working for me since I inherited the company. I’m glad Mr. Xiao is doing his job.” It’s forced out of his mouth like he’s spitting out gravel, Sicheng connecting the dots faster than needed.

Sicheng turned to Jaehyun, pleading. Jaehyun doesn’t acknowledge it, cruelty already shining in his eyes and he doesn’t like it. What’s the use of trying to hurt Sehun when he’s here?

Yukhei smiled boyishly “Yeah. With him living in your office now, sorting your work for you and long work hours than necessary.”

Jungwoo nudged Sicheng with his foot, glaring at him but not angry. He’s warning him, tilting his head to the other room. He’s still listening to the unfolding scene to realize Jungwoo’s giving him a way out of hearing this.

“He’s loyal to the company.” There’s nothing that can break Sehun’s poker face at this point, lying through his teeth. Sicheng doesn’t know what to say to diffuse this situation, already seeing what would happen if he tried to involve himself.

Jaehyun blinked owlishly, grinning as he finally turned to Sicheng “I believe after your marriage, you’re going to take over the merging. Is it alright with you to ask how the arrangements for your wedding are?”

 He’s creating trouble. He knew what was going on, even when he didn’t ask about it when they were together to avoid the elephant in the room. Sicheng’s pretty sure that Jaehyun knew everything from the caterers, to the planner and the venue with how he’s kept close eye on them with the occasional check sent to him when he was attending them. Sehun nudged his shoulder to snap him out of his stupor, shocked to see he’s bent his spoon in anger.

“Thank you. They’re going very well. I would invite you but I don’t think you’ll like social events. You are infamous for not showing yourself. People might talk.” Sicheng is glad that no one can see how sweaty his palms are, turning back to his food with a haughty smile.

Jaehyun isn’t backing down. He turned to Sehun, deliberately sliding his foot under the table to touch Sicheng’s leg as the latter froze. “Your fiancé is handsome, isn’t he? How did you propose?”

“It was in a family dinner.” Sehun replied, emotionless.

Jaehyun faked a gasp “Well, I say. That’s not really romantic. Tsk, tsk. He deserves better than that. You really should take better care when you have a treasure right here. It would be bad if someone were to steal him from under your nose.” He then smiled innocently at Sicheng who was blushing and averting his eyes “Did you like the food?”

“They’re my favorites.” Sicheng almost hit himself on the face when he sounded too eager. Because the food was too good and he wrung his fingers on his lap, looking down to avoid the questions.

Sehun blinked. He assessed Jaehyun who only has his eyes on Sicheng, trying to read his intentions. He drank his wine in one go, feeling odd about the exchange. It wasn’t good for him to drink when he’s driving yet he is suspicious Jung Jaehyun didn’t invite him for the company.

You can taste tension thick in the air like a heavy cloud, losing appetites as they all played with their silverware to distract themselves. Sicheng felt his throat clogging as he kept kneading his Adam’s apple, silently wishing someone would save this dinner.

“Well then, why don’t we all take a drive?” Yukhei suggested, standing up with a smirk.

 

“How about we all switch cars?”

Yukhei is jumping around like a hyperactive child, scanning the cars lined in front of Jaehyun’s house with appreciation. He doesn’t seem to care about his Jaehyun’s yellow 1929 Duesenberg, stopping next to it to tap it on the hood and it’s clear he’s used to luxury cars when he drove a red Rolls Royce. He’s more interested in Sehun’s blue 1933 Auburn when he strode next to it, smirking.

Jaehyun’s eyes briefly narrowed. He closed his eyes in contemplation, lips moving as he pursed them. It’s a strange motion that Sicheng noticed in passing. He only did that when he was upset over something but he doesn’t really see the harm in driving a different car especially how it might just be fun. He couldn’t be upset over that, can he?

Jaehyun noticed his gaze, nodding sharply “Alright. Why don’t you three take whatever car you want?”

Sehun chuckled, turning to Sicheng “Maybe you should take Yukhei’s car with Jaehyun? You did say you wanted to drive a Rolls-Royce one day.” His suggestion turned heads, eyebrows raised and mouths agape. Sicheng blinked owlishly, laughing nervously when Jaehyun came close to take his hand.

“Are you sure?” Sicheng whispered.

Sehun nodded, brushing his thumb over his cheek fondly “Be safe. I trust Jaehyun will make sure you’ll both come back in one piece.” He winked at the latter, earning him a semblance of agreement when Jaehyun opened the door of Yukhei’s car.

Yukhei banged on the top of Sehun’s car, smug smirk still on his face. This earned him a glare from the owner but he shrugged nonchalantly “What’s taking you all so long? This isn’t rocket science.”

“Not everyone is a car enthusiast like you, Yukhei. Calm down.”  There’s a distinct sound of struggle as Jungwoo climbed into the front seat, used to being in the car already. He’s more comfortable here than in Yukhei’s when it ensued that there’s a roof over his head than feeling the wind try to take his head off. Sicheng looked at him, guilty as he followed Jaehyun where Yukhei parked his car.

“Before we forget, switch keys.” Jaehyun called out, pulling out his own set and throwing at Sehun who caught it with no trouble with one hand. He did the same with Yukhei except the latter had to trip twice before he was able to catch it. Yukhei was more civil when he just passed the keys to Sicheng, tugging him by the wrist.

“You need to know that Jaehyun’s not as nice as you think. And being in the presence of someone he considers competition does things to his head. So if anything happens, please take care of yourself.”

Sicheng nodded. But there’s a twist in his gut that told him it’s Yukhei who should be worried about what’s going to happen. He climbed inside the car, enjoying the leather upholstery with his hands and touching the windows. He can’t help his awe despite denying himself from buying this model when he was told it might not fit in their garage. He doesn’t really want to drive Sehun’s car around especially when he wants to sightsee but he always chickened out for some reason. Maybe he envisioned himself too unworthy of such luxury when his life has its own price tag. Or maybe he’s too much of a coward to ignore how Sehun would drop hints to buy it for him. Sicheng wanted to buy his own, not be bought like the rest of his future will be dictated.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jaehyun is calmer than he expected. He revved the car up, familiar with the mechanics and adjusting the rear view mirror. It’s unnerving after the stunt he pulled, the anger that he’s forgotten coming back full force.

Sicheng whipped his head to him, gritting his teeth “Are you going to tell me why you thought that was going to be okay? What you said to Sehun?”

“There was nothing wrong about what I said,” Jaehyun replied as he backed the car out, the others following him when he drove out of the gates and into the streets “Why are you bothered?”

“Jaehyun, we’ve talked about this. It’s not worth it.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightened “I assure you I don’t understand which has any worth to you. It’s strange, Sicheng. You really think you can live two lives? Pretend to be happy and then come back to me with a ring on your finger that I didn’t give you?”

“What do you want from me more than what we have?” He hissed, almost stomping on the floor with his hands balled into fists. There’s a prickle of tears in the corner of his eyes but he shook them away.

“I want you to leave him. For good.”

Jaehyun’s demand is ringing in his ears, eyes widening before he pursed his lips. He flattened them in the sudden influx of disbelief surging inside him at what he was asking, jerking his head to the side to think about anything but this if not for Jaehyun using his free hand to grab his chin to make him face him.

Sicheng glared at him through his bangs, sneering “You’re mad.”

Jaehyun’s fingers tightened as he made Sicheng tilt his head up, letting them fall down to wander on his neck and tracing the gold chain until he reached the pendant resting on Sicheng’s collarbone, tucked in his shirt hidden away “Does Sehun know why you’re wearing this and keeping it under your shirt as if you’re ashamed of it? Hm?”

“I love you but this isn’t right.”

“Ah, I see. You like him enough to think you can live a life that’s not as bad as you thought. Sicheng, did you ever really want that life with me or are you too blinded by your family to see that this isn’t what you want?”

Sicheng thought back. What did he really want? There’s not a lot he dreamed of, always built in other people’s expectations of him, of what they wanted. First it was Jaehyun’s, innocent dreams of running away where people won’t separate them, love that kept them together despite his reluctance to leave the home he’s only known. He was young and his heart was impressionable, easier for him to fall back into Jaehyun’s arms in hopes he can once again feel differently of his situation. Perhaps he would have stayed in this fantasy but he’s seeing a different light. A sensible one where there is no clear future when it’s clear that Jaehyun will not understand Sicheng’s need for family, to have his parents despite their prior neglect. They never changed how they thought of their reputation but as he grew up, they let him be independent enough that he was able to pursue the aspirations he thought he would never reach. They didn’t care enough to show it to him but they’ve been quite lenient with him as of late, asking him about his day and telling him they were happy he is settling to a better life. Nothing in his life was perfect. But that didn’t mean Jaehyun will be either.

There’s a crack in the pristine reflection of what he thought was concrete, flashing images on how this wasn’t who he believed it could be.

“I don’t want this anymore. You’ve changed, Yoonoh. I haven’t realized how much we’ve grown to see that there’s nothing to salvage now.” Sicheng’s voice is strained, hand coming up to slap Jaehyun’s hold off him and covering his face to scream.

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything. He continued driving as he listened to Sicheng’s sobs growing louder. There’s nothing but the two of them despite the traffic, palms growing cold as Jaehyun stared at the sky. He thought back to what he sacrificed for Sicheng after he was discharged. Maybe he should have come back the minute they did, run to Sicheng and take him away before he’s been brainwashed into a marriage. But he didn’t. Because he was stupid back then too. Because all he thought about was getting back at Sicheng for forgetting him, taking the money the Dongs gave him to leave their son alone with the intent to invest it until it reached to the point he can flaunt wealth. Even if it was illegal trading, buying the mafia and rising to the top by means of exploitation. He would do it.

Jaehyun suddenly laughed. A loud barking laugh with air knocking out his lungs, thumping on the steering wheel as he turned a curve, smile maniacal when he turned back to Sicheng. It calmed down enough that it became a serene smile but it has Sicheng on the edge.

“Oh, Sicheng. I’d do anything to keep you.” He stopped, moving the rear view mirror down that they can see the car following them. Except that was the only one, the yellow paint job too bright for the eyes. Sicheng’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets “Even if it takes any means necessary.”

A loud bang echoed in the air as the car shook in the vertigo, making Sicheng hit his head against the headboard. The smell of smoke overcame his nose, heart beating too fast against his rib cage as Jaehyun stopped the car, Sehun rushing to the front seat to get Sicheng with a frantic expression.

Sicheng’s too overwhelmed to realize he was shaking as Sehun opened the door to hug him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t look back. It’s not your fault.”

His fault? What’s his fault? He stretched his neck to take a look at Jaehyun for an answer but there’s that damn smile again with an innocent tilt of his head. Then it warped, horrifying to see how empty his eyes are as he gaped and let out a loud gasp.

“Are Yukhei and Jungwoo okay?” He asked, concern dripping like acid in his tone as he lingered a hand on Sicheng’s head. “Oh, what could have happened?”

Sicheng finally woke up from the nightmare he thought was a dream.

 

The police told him it was a faulty wire that disabled the breaks, rewired to the gas pedal that when Jungwoo who had been driving had stepped on the brake on the curve only to accelerate. The car spun out of control as he kept pressing it down, shooting off the road and crashing into the woods nearby. The impact was strong enough to catch the car on fire, Jungwoo recovered from the scene with his head bleeding and his arm twisted in an odd angle. They suspected Yukhei was engulfed by the flames, the explosion when the gas tank was exposed to heat only making this concrete. Sicheng couldn’t speak for a few hours, breathing heavily in shock as he stared at Jungwoo being wheeled into the ambulance and moving like a puppet when he was pushed inside as his emergency contact.

Jungwoo’s state was horrible. His arm is resting on his chest to avoid aggravating it more, chest slowly rising with every struggling breath and god, his face is covered in drying blood. Contrasting red and browns mingling with the purple bruises on his forehead that had Sicheng reaching out to touch his arm, cold skin only making Sicheng’s mind blank.

He was safe but there was no guarantee he would wake up soon. Sicheng’s slept for less than three hours watching over him, curled up in a chair and refusing to eat as he feared something might happen if he averted his eyes. The thought that Yukhei warned him before he was gone only made it harder to accept that Jaehyun did this.

Sehun hasn’t gone back to the company. He’s been on leave to help Sicheng arrange the hospital, to monitor him too lest something happens to him as well. He’s been kinder, not asking about why Sicheng was crying silently as he held Jungwoo’s hand at night and letting him know when he should at least eat.  He’s wondered how Jaehyun is feeling, how he’s living out there without any care about what he had brought upon him. The bastard has the gall to send flowers, cards tucked in them that he threw away without reading because he’s on the breaking point. Jungwoo’s the only family who actually cared about him, who didn’t care about what he chose to do and supported him despite his bad decision. Dragging him into this was so, so stupid.

 

“Sicheng, can you tell me something?” Sehun’s hushed question echoed in the hospital room, inquiring as Sicheng raised his head from where he laid it beside Jungwoo’s prone body. It’s been a week since they’ve stayed here, his parents already questioning why he’s so caught up on taking care of a cousin they’ve known had been disowned. He hadn’t forgotten the wedding; he’s set up the planner to come one time to give him full reigns until he came back. Besides, there wasn’t anything else to finalize. They just needed to be collected, grouped and arranged. It was going to go smoothly.

“Hm?” He’s tired from the sleepless nights, naps not enough to keep his brain from functioning rationally. There’s a pause that’s a familiar cue of Sehun thinking before he took a deep breath.

“I know about Jaehyun.” He doesn’t look angry, just resigned as if he finally understood something he wasn’t supposed to know “And your affair.”

There’s a pin drop ringing in his ears. Sicheng gaped at him, shaking as he stood up abruptly. The blood rushing into his head made him stumble on his feet, grabbing the bed post to stand still. He took a few calming breaths, straightening his back as he looked at him in the eyes. “Yes. I also know of yours.”

The silence spoke volumes, but Sehun’s always been so hard to understand. No matter how much he seemed to be taking care of Sicheng after this ordeal, he doesn’t know how to approach this without breaking what they’re starting to make. Sehun has been calling back to the company when he wasn’t looking, wisps of the conversation about business however other than these awkward pauses and Sehun whispering something he can’t hear.

“He’s leaving for China.” Sehun finally said, turning to the window. He doesn’t say anything else but Sicheng can almost hear the unspoken “he’s leaving me” in his slouched shoulders.

Sicheng nodded numbly, unsure “What are you going to do?” Perhaps following him would be a good idea. But the rumors would be vicious, the media won’t let him be for more than a second to wheedle out why his fiancé ran off with a coworker while he was planning the wedding. And Sicheng won’t stop him. He’s not thinking straight but he would let Sehun choose what he wants and destroying his company is the answer then so be it.

He’s done being selfish.

But then, Sehun’s eyes sparkled. They were filled with determination, directed to Sicheng as he walked closer to place his hands on his shoulders. “Nothing. He deserves to follow his dreams. And I’m going to follow mine.”

“Which is?”

“Start a new company with my own name and build it up without the aid of my family’s name. I want you to be part of it too,” Sicheng’s face scrunched up, stiffening at his implication. But Sehun shook his head, asking him to listen “This marriage was always going to be only on paper. My parents made sure of that, warning me not to make you attached but you need to understand that you don’t deserve how your family treats you. So I have a deal. We pretend to be married but get divorced a year after when the papers are finalized.”

Sicheng’s speechless.

“You have skills that can help build a business, lead people and I trust you to market the sales. You’re smart and resourceful. You can have the control you’ve always wanted.” He sounded like he did when he proposed except there’s conviction here. It’s a business proposal and Sicheng doesn’t need to keep being under his parents any longer. There’s a lot of responsibility given to him now, not as someone else’s accessory but as an asset. He can be himself instead of belonging to someone else.

But there is one thing he must do.

 

The mansion is devoid of the people that once crowded its gates. The emptiness of the courtyard made the surroundings darker at sunset, casted in an eerie orange glow and the fountain looking like it was sprouting blood with how the light cast upon it. It screamed nothing but danger, the staff nowhere to be seen. Sicheng walked up to the opened gates, shivering when the wind picked up as the sound of his steps echoed in the silence. He drew his arms around himself, face resolute as he remembered what Yukhei went through and what Jungwoo is suffering right now. There is still the fluttering in his heart when he looked up the balcony, remembering the memories but his mind has made up. He cannot forgive someone who would have killed him had he stayed with Yukhei and Jungwoo in his own car. There were so many loopholes in Jaehyun’s plan, not caring what happens next as long as his needs were met. No matter the cost.

He twisted the door knob, finding it open and walking inside. Fear spiked again when there was no single light left inside the mansion, the darkness daunting as Sicheng tried to rely on memory where he should go without alerting Jaehyun he was here.

He walked past the dining room, finding the plates broken on the ground and the food rotting that they were attracting flies. The chairs are overturned, knives stuck on the table that Sicheng took one out and slid it inside his jacket to use as a weapon.

The stairs came into view, climbing them was an ease when he’s realized he can hear music from a certain room.  He walked down the winding halls, the portraits ripped in the middle before the music grew louder. No, it wasn’t music. It was someone singing, clear and melodic like a song from long ago. He stopped at the last room, where he recalled the balcony faced before he braced himself as he opened the door.

Jaehyun is singing, arms outstretched like an opera singer with his voice steadily rising. It’s the song that he heard from one of his records, a song described as a siren’s song that lured sailors to their demise. It’s haunting when he dropped an octave then fluctuating into high notes that Sicheng can’t help but be mesmerized. The song came to a halt, Jaehyun spinning on his heels to smile widely at Sicheng.

His blue eyes are will o’ wisps burning bright in the sunset. A glass of whiskey is on his hand, raised to his lips as he took a small sip without looking away. It was a crime to think he was gorgeous even in his madness, the loose shirt Sicheng’s own and his pants are past his ankles where he left his feet bare.

“Are you here to stay?” he cooed, walking out to the balcony with a skip on his step.

Sicheng followed him, blinking away the glare of the sun that’s setting. The view is clear here when it was close to the bay and he saw his house from afar, sighing at how he really wanted to keep both of them. But there’s too much at stake now.

“No. I’m here to tell you goodbye, Yoonoh.” It’s easier to call him his name now. Because Sicheng missed Yoonoh not Jaehyun. He missed the blue-eyed boy who gave him peaches and taught him how to love. But Yoonoh’s gone, dead when Jaehyun came back thinking money would help fix what he broke so long ago.

Jaehyun leaned back, throwing his head back and looked at the sky. He’s still, a statue that’s too beautiful to be alive. It’s enough to make him seem unnerving before he reached a hand out again, pleading. He isn’t looking at him. “Kiss me goodbye.”

Sicheng bit his lip “What?”

“It’s to reenact the last time I left. It would be fair, wouldn’t it?”

Ah, how could he forget? That kiss tasted of salt and bitterness before Sicheng ran back home to forget that Jaehyun might never come back. He remembered how broken he felt then that Jaehyun just accepted, believing that he wasn’t serious enough to stay with him. Maybe Sicheng now understood what Jaehyun felt then. Except he didn’t try to kill someone to keep them.

So he accepts.

Jaehyun looked genuinely surprised when he walked until they were close, reaching to touch his nape to pull him down. Their lips met softly, nothing but the press of their weight that Sicheng can feel nostalgia rush through him. He let go, tilting his lips to deepen it as he felt Jaehyun’s lips tremble and he can taste his tears as he sobbed against the kiss.

He pulled away, the feeling of wetness signaling him that he too is crying and god, how did they end up this way?

“I love you-“

A loud bang, the rush of air shooting past Sicheng’s face accompanied by the smell of gunpowder and then Jaehyun is bleeding from his stomach. The look on his face morphed from surprise to pain, hand covering the wound as they stained in his blood. He gurgled, blood dripping down his chin as he looked at Sicheng who has covered his mouth then to the person behind him brandishing a gun. Yukhei’s face is passive without a hint of remorse, bandages on his face and around his arm wearing a new set of clothes. He was alive, Jaehyun thought as black spots overcame his vision and he turned to Sicheng to smile.

Jaehyun tripped over the balcony, splashing down to the pool below as red pooled around him.

Sicheng stared. At the blood, Jaehyun floating in a sea of his own blood and then whipped his head back to see Yukhei holding the gun close to his chest. He doesn’t know what happened, torn between the knowledge Yukhei survived and that Jaehyun is dead.

“Where’s Jungwoo? Is he okay?” Yukhei inquired, shrugging his jacket to wrap around Sicheng who was visibly shaking now. “Hey, I won’t hurt you. It was in our contract that if he tried to kill me, I would kill him.”

Perhaps this was fate. That he will carry this burden to his death, Jungwoo none the wiser about what Yukhei did and he can move on from the events that had transpired. This was his karma perhaps. Every one of them will carry their own weight of Jung Jaehyun who would probably never leave them alone for the rest of their lives. Sicheng grabbed Yukhei’s arm for support, taking one last glance at Jaehyun’s back before they both went down to go back to the hospital.

They don't look back to check if he was truly dead. Maybe that was mercy in itself.

 

**Author's Note:**

> (It's up to you if he died or not lol)
> 
> Hmu on twt if you like @cledritch :)


End file.
